This podcast is being brought to you by John Hancock Investment Management Distributors LLC, member FINRA, SIPC. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers, are subject to change as market and other conditions warrant, and do not constitute investment advice or a recommendation regarding any specific product or security. There is no guarantee that any investment strategy discussed will be successful or achieve any particular level of results. Any economic or market performance information is historical and is not indicative of future results, and no forecasts are guaranteed. Investing involves risks, including the potential loss of principal.

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John Bryson

Hello, and welcome to the Portfolio Intelligence podcast. I'm John Bryson, Head of Investment Consulting and Education Savings at Manulife John Hancock Investments. Today is August 20, 2026, and we're tackling a topic that many of your clients are dealing with right now: the stress of the college journey for families. College isn't just an educational decision. It's an emotional decision, a financial decision, and often one of the largest investments they'll make outside of retirement planning or homeownership.

Financial advisors are uniquely positioned to help clients navigate these conversations, whether it's funding education, evaluating the trade-off between retirement and college savings, setting realistic expectations, or helping parents process the transition when children leave home. Advisors often serve as a trusted guide throughout the entire journey. To help us explore these challenges, I'm joined by two outstanding guests. First, I'm joined by Nancy Steenson, founder of the Steenson College Coaching Organization and one of the world's leading independent college admissions consultants.

Nancy is a graduate of Tufts University, a member of both the Independent Educational Consultants Association and the Higher Education Consultants Association, and teaches the College Admissions Counseling Program at the University of California, Berkeley Extension. She works with families across the country, speaks nationally on college admissions and pricing, and has helped hundreds of students find colleges that are a strong academic, social, and financial fit.

I'm also pleased to welcome Gail Parsons, founder and president of LifeCycle Focus. For more than two decades, Gail has helped families, organizations, and individuals navigate life's transitions through coaching, training, and leadership development. Her work focuses on parenting, stress management, work-life integration, communication, resilience, and helping families successfully adapt to major life changes. She's also the mother of three young adults.

Given both her professional and personal experience with the challenges families face when children leave for college, Gail, thank you both so much for joining me today.

Nancy Steenson, Gail Parsons

Nancy Steenson: Thanks so much for having me, John.

Gail Parsons: Thank you.

Nancy Steenson: Looking forward to it.

John Bryson

All right. To my audience, before we dive in, I want advisors out there to keep one thing in mind. When families are making college decisions, they rarely come to you with only an investment question. They're bringing a variety of emotions, expectations, family dynamics, and often competing financial priorities. This is one of those moments where you can deliver tremendous value by simply helping your clients make thoughtful decisions.

So, Nancy, I want to start with you on the admissions side. What are the biggest sources of stress you see in families during the college admissions process today?

Nancy Steenson

John, I would say the absolute number one source of stress for families is the lure of prestige. Many students and parents have heard of only a small number of elite, brand-name colleges and universities, and they're sure that those are the only ones worth considering.

The problem becomes twofold. First is the cost associated with those institutions. Highly selective colleges and universities are now upwards of $100,000 a year, and they only give scholarships to students whose families can show true need. So everyone else is paying $100,000 a year or more over four years. That's an enormous amount of money. It's very stressful when the family budget doesn't meet that expectation.

The second part of the problem is that most students aren't admitted to the most selective colleges in the country, as reflected in their acceptance rates. If they accept 6% of students, 94% of students are denied, and many of those students are just as brilliant and accomplished as the ones who are admitted.

All of this causes enormous stress because some families think that a very small number of highly ranked colleges are the only ones that will deliver a quality education, guarantee their child's job or secure future, or impress their friends and neighbors. But college admission is not a trophy to be won. It's really about finding the right academic, social, and financial fit.

John Bryson

So, Nancy, as a parent with a child who's a sophomore in college right now, I can absolutely agree that was one of the challenges and one of the stresses. The other one was social media. They see all these things on social media about what a college has to offer, and then you start to understand what they're looking for. That's a totally different conversation we can have. But how do families manage this lure of prestige and this expectation that this is the only college that works for me?

Nancy Steenson

Well, I have a number of strategies that I recommend to families to manage this stress.

First, talk about budget as a family. Be clear with your children about what your college budget is so they're not falling in love with schools that are well beyond the family budget. That's number one.  Then create a reasonable, well-balanced list within your budget that includes reach schools, target schools, and likely schools, not just reach schools.

The next step is to visit a variety of colleges, not just your reach schools. I see too many families wanting to visit only super-selective schools, and that's wonderful, but you need to fall in love with your target schools and your likely schools as well because that's where you may end up attending. Make sure you're not just showing students the schools they may not even get into.

On the money piece, I would say: do not apply to schools you can't afford. Period. Full stop.

Flash forward to the spring of senior year. If the student gets into their dream school and it's well beyond the family budget, someone is going to be crying. Sometimes it's the parent because they're feeling they now have to pay the cost of something they never intended to, and it's well beyond their budget. Sometimes it's the student because the parent says, "I'm not paying that."

Of course, we shouldn't have gotten into this situation to begin with because allowing a student to apply to a school beyond budget implies that it's going to work out and that we'll find a way. "We'll find a way" is one of my least favorite expressions. It's never a good thing to say when we're managing the college admissions process. Some people will say, "Well, even if we can't afford it, let's try to see if the student can get in. You never know."

We kind of do know. If the student isn't a very strong student, we know they're not going to get into a school with a 6% acceptance rate. People say, "Someone has to get in."

And yes, some people do get in. But if your student's profile doesn't match that institution, it's not a lottery. They're taking the most brilliant and accomplished students in the world.

So set a reasonable budget and a realistic college list. Don't underestimate the effect of getting a mailbox full of rejections in the spring of senior year when your friends are getting into college.

I also ask parents: please don't send the message to your kids that their target or safety schools aren't good enough for them. When that's the school they end up attending, they're not going to forget what you said.

Support them in their list. Support them as they reach for those reach schools. Be happy with the target schools and likely schools. Understand that there are many, many colleges delivering an excellent education and great outcomes beyond the most highly ranked institutions.

John Bryson

Very good. Knowing that this audience is for everybody, but especially financial advisors, what ideas do you have about how a financial advisor can help parents through this process?

Nancy Steenson

I would say meet with families early, when kids are young, to come up with a college savings plan. Then meet with them again as college approaches to set a realistic budget with the family, including the details of where that money is coming from.

Maybe it's coming from a 529 plan or other savings. Maybe it's coming from grandparents or other family members. It shouldn't come from home equity, and it shouldn't come from retirement savings. Hopefully, with a good financial plan, it won't have to.

I would encourage advisors to help families be clear with their children about their budget so they can visit appropriately priced schools and get excited about them.

John Bryson

That's great advice. It's very consistent with the conversations we have with advisors. What I would add is that this is a great opportunity for financial advisors to make a connection with the next generation. Talking about budgeting is often easier when it comes from someone other than a parent. We'll coach our kids and they won't listen, but when they hear it from someone else, especially an expert, they're more likely to listen.

So, to our advisor audience, take that opportunity to make a connection with the next generation and provide even more value to your clients. You're providing value to the whole family.

All right, I want to transition to you, Gail. Once the acceptance letters arrive and the financial decisions are made, there's another challenge for many families. The stress shifts from, "Will my child get in?" and "How do we pay for it?" to "What happens when they leave?"

That has important implications for advisors too, because major life transitions often lead to major financial decisions. So, Gail, when a child leaves for college, what's the full range of emotions that parents actually feel?

Gail Parsons

There is a range of emotions, and I think it's really important for parents to hear that because it can be all over the place.

As Nancy just talked about, with all of the details that come before this, looming in the background is, "Oh my gosh, my child is leaving the house."

There's sadness, and that's usually where people think they'll only feel sadness. But there are a lot of different emotions.

When we think about our kids leaving for college, we default straight to sadness and grief. Yes, grief is real. You're losing that in-person daily contact. You're losing a version of the relationship, a phase of life. There's a real loss in no longer knowing what your child did every day without having to ask.

But grief is only one piece.

There's also relief, especially if the last year was intense. Everything Nancy just talked about: applications, deadlines, arguments over curfews, the emotional roller coaster of senior year. A lot of parents feel that quiet exhale when it's finally over.

Some parents feel guilty for feeling that relief, so I want to name that directly. Relief doesn't mean you love your child any less. It just means the process was a lot.

There's also pride, and I think this one is underrated. You get to watch your child become capable of the exact thing you spent 18 years preparing them for. Packing up their room, managing their own schedule, making friends in a brand-new place. That's the finish line we've been running toward the whole time.

Then there's anxiety. That's not always about the child. Sometimes it's worry about their safety and choices, but just as often it's anxiety about the parent's own next chapter. Who am I now if I'm not managing someone's life every single day?

That question can sneak up on people, especially if their identity has been wrapped up in the parenting role.

There's another emotion that isn't talked about very much: jealousy. Maybe it's jealousy toward the parent whose child stayed local, or toward the parent whose child calls every day. It's important to name that too, because if you don't, it quietly festers and can make you feel like a bad parent when it's really just comparison. It's human.

You can feel proud and heartbroken at the same time. That's not a contradiction. That's what this transition is.

For those parents experiencing empty nest syndrome, meaning there are no other children left at home, I want to say that it's not a clinical diagnosis. It's simply a common and predictable adjustment period.

Sometimes I compare it to retirement. We don't treat retirement like a disorder. It's a major life adjustment that takes time. Empty nesting is the same thing.

Instead of pushing those feelings down, say them out loud. "I'm grieving this." "I'm relieved, and I feel strange about that." Putting words around it takes some of its power away.

I've run countless support groups, and we have a mantra: "If it's mentioned, it's manageable." Putting it out there helps keep it from becoming something we endlessly ruminate about.

With all of this range of emotions, what's important to hear is that the good stuff is not over. This is not a door closing. It's a door opening into a different and honestly wonderful phase of the relationship.

You get to hear about their life instead of managing it, which is often more interesting than parents expect. You get the call about a professor they love, a new friend from the other side of the country, or a class that's changing how they think.

Eventually, the relationship shifts into something more like friendship, and I think that's one of the best parts of parenting that we don't talk about enough.

John Bryson, Gail Parsons

John Bryson: Wow, Gail, you went through everything that I experienced sending my child off to college. The only thing you didn't mention was that I'm jealous they're going. That's the jealousy I felt.

Gail Parsons: True, right? You want a do-over yourself.

John Bryson: Yep. All great stuff.

Once the child leaves, how should parents think about staying involved without holding on too tightly?

Gail Parsons

Exactly. I think that's the piece that trips parents up the most because so much of the anxiety and guilt we just talked about actually drives overinvolvement. It's rarely about what our kids need. It's about managing our own discomfort with letting go.

I try to frame it this way: our job is shifting from being a manager to being a consultant.

A manager checks in constantly, has a hand in every decision, and wants to know the plan before it happens. A consultant waits to be asked. They trust the person is capable. They show up with expertise when they're called on, not before.

A few concrete strategies can help.

First, remember that when kids call with a problem, and they will call with problems, resist the instinct to jump in and fix it. Ask before you advise.

Something as simple as, "What have you tried so far?" or "What are you thinking of doing?" does so much work. It signals that you trust them, and it keeps the problem-solving muscle in their hands, not yours.

I also give parents a filter: ask yourself whether this is a struggle or a crisis.

A bad grade is a struggle. A fight with a roommate is a struggle. Homesickness is a struggle, and actually a healthy sign of attachment, not necessarily a sign that college was a mistake.

Those situations need room to be uncomfortable. Struggles need space. That's where growth happens.

If it's a real safety concern, a serious mental health decline, or something legal, that's a crisis. That's when you step in immediately.

The thing is, most calls home fall into the first category. They're struggles, not crises, and most resolve on their own within a day or two if we let them.

I've also had lots of conversations with parents about communication. How often should we talk? How often should we reach out?

Have that conversation. We usually skip it.

Talk explicitly about communication expectations. How often are we going to talk? Will it be by text, phone call, or video?

If you don't have that conversation, one parent ends up anxiously waiting by the phone while a student thinks a weekly text is plenty, and somebody gets hurt, but nobody has said why.

John Bryson

Great advice. I love the crisis-versus-struggle framework. That's absolutely critical.

And I love what you said earlier: if you can mention it, you can manage it. Having that conversation upfront is so important. So many great nuggets of advice along the way.

Let me ask you this. What are some practical ways advisors can help support families during those first few months?

Gail Parsons

I would say the most valuable thing an advisor can do here isn't necessarily to have a financial answer ready. It's about noticing.

If a client is talking about a child who just left for school, that's worth a real question, not just a passing comment. Something like, "How's that adjustment going for you?"

Clients remember who asks. It signals that you see them as a whole person.

Advisors who create space for that, even by asking, "What does this next chapter look like for you, not just for your child?" tend to build a different kind of trust.

This isn't about solving anything. You don't need to solve the emotional side. You just need to be one of the people in their life who noticed it.

That does so much for any relationship, especially an advisor-client relationship.

John Bryson

That's really helpful. As I listen to both of you, I'm struck by the theme that the college journey isn't just about admissions, tuition, rankings, and all of that. It's about helping families make thoughtful decisions during a stressful period, where emotions and finances are deeply intertwined and everyone is trying to make the right decision.

Thank you so much for sharing that information. It's been incredibly helpful. Nancy and Gail, you've both provided great insights.

But we're not done. Today's discussion only scratches the surface. We're fortunate enough to have both of you on an upcoming webinar on Thursday, September 24, at both 10 a.m. and 2 p.m.

Nancy and Gail, along with Jeff Roach of Manulife John Hancock Investments, are going to dive deeper into admissions trends, the college process, college pricing, financial planning considerations, family dynamics, and practical strategies advisors can use to help clients through the entire college journey.

So, if you're listening and want to hear more, please join our webinar. Mark your calendars: Thursday, September 24, at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m.

Gail and Nancy, thank you both so much for joining us today. And thanks, as always, to our listeners. We hope you learned something and enjoyed the conversation. Have a great day.

This podcast is being brought to you by John Hancock Investment Management Distributors, LLC, member FINRA, SIPC. The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers, are subject to change as market and other conditions warrant, and do not constitute investment advice or a recommendation regarding any specific product or security.

There is no guarantee that any investment strategy discussed will be successful or achieve any particular level of results.

Any economic or market performance information is historical and is not indicative of future results, and no forecasts are guaranteed. Investing involves risks, including the potential loss of principal.

Nancy Steenson, Gail Parsons, and LifeCycle Focus are not affiliated with Manulife John Hancock Investments and are being compensated for their time. Manulife John Hancock Investments takes no responsibility for the accuracy of the content, and the views may not necessarily reflect those of Manulife John Hancock Investments. Nor does Manulife John Hancock Investments endorse the use of any applications referenced. Before using any of the programs or applications referenced, please ensure that you have permission from your firm to use them. Likewise, consult with your tax or financial professional before making any investment decisions.